Yesterday morning I was reflecting on what prevents me from “letting go and letting God.” What came clear (not really news to me) is that there is a deep, old, and often unconscious tendency in me to believe that I am responsible for everything and I have to do it on my own, by myself, perfectly, the first time. No pressure! One of the ways this frequently plays out is me trying to “push the river” by forcing solutions. And (no surprise) I end up feeling frantic and anxious. “Something has to be done, and it has to be done right now!” Lately, however, I have been making progress in this area. I find myself being more relaxed, and more gentle with myself. I’m starting to trust the flow. Which brings me back to yesterday morning’s reflection experience. As I was pondering all of this, including the ways that progress is occurring, I had an experience that doesn’t happen to me very often. On a pretty regular basis I have experiences of connection with Sacred Presence, but only rarely has that taken the form of actual words in my head. So when it does happen it grabs my attention. “I’ve got you!” is the message I received. And with that I stepped just a bit closer to letting go into the Mystery. Maybe I can begin to trust that I don’t have to do all by myself. Wouldn’t that be lovely! I really like what seems to be happening in my life lately. I wonder what’s next. We shall see…
I heard a group playing a song with the word surrender in it. I thought of “Surrender Dorothy” written in the sky in The Wizard of Oz. The spiritual suggestion of that knocked me in the head!