On this All Hallow’s Eve, when it is said that we are sometimes visited by the spirits of the departed, this photo popped up from twenty years ago. I find myself smiling at this reminder of my late wife and me dressed up in silly costumes on our way to a Halloween contra dance. But it also prompts me to reflect on all that we did not know in that moment regarding what was coming. At the time this photo was taken we had been married for about a year and a half. From the very start our relationship had been a loving, learning, growing experience for both of us. Being married to her was often challenging as I learned to let go of unhelpful character traits and step into healthier ways of being in relationship, but it was never boring and frequently fun. And in that moment so full of hope and the glow of what was still a fresh, new relationship, we had no idea that four and a half years later she would be dead. Would it have changed anything if we had known? Probably. Would it have been helpful if we had known? Perhaps in some ways, but I’m not at all sure that knowledge would have served us well overall. We already did a pretty good job of being kind and grateful with each other – noticing and appreciating the many gifts that came as a result of our connection. I suspect what would have changed would have been an added layer of anxiety – sometimes lurking just below the surface, sometimes bubbling up into our conscious awareness, and always coloring our experiences in darker hues. So, my conclusion as I ponder this twenty year old photo is that I am grateful for the gift of not knowing. Life unfolds as it unfolds, and there is great value in learning to live as fully as possible in each present moment. My intention and my goal is to live each moment as it comes, paying attention to the gifts and the opportunities which are waiting to be discovered in those moments. I am grateful beyond words for the gift of that woman standing there in a baby blue tuxedo. In more ways than I can count I have been, and continue to be, enriched beyond all measure because of her presence in my life. Happy Halloween everyone! Savor each moment as it comes.