We spent five days in Crater Lake National Park.
Click here to view the Crater Lake series (I added some new photos since my last posting)
Click here to view Crater Lake Wildflower series
Click here to view Crater Lake Sunset series.
July 16, 2008
Crater Lake National Park
I am furious again. As the moon nears fullness it draws it out of me-this raw energy, this great upwelling of feeling. At least now its origins are apparent so I can dive below the surface fury and find the pure energy– of Life, wholeness, health, respect, and great love.
The first time this fury consumed me we were in Zion National Park. Here is what I uncovered:
May 27, 2008
I awoke, a few mornings ago in Zion, furious. Zion, land of refuge, a place to Be, to behold and to be upheld, even in the land of dark feelings.
I don’t enjoy being furious. I experience incredible energy (I’m sure our tent was glowing) that is incredibly painful and confusing. I want to break things. My fury is all there is and all there will ever be. Thank goodness I know there is always something beneath anger-hurt, sadness, fear, or all three. And that as soon as I can let myself sink beneath the anger the clarity of my heart will replace the confusion of my mind.
Oh, but it is scary to let myself feel the intensity of those feelings. It takes will power to enter that storm, not knowing if I will be capsized. The safe harbor of my husband’s arms and love helps immensely. And so we journeyed together-me spilling my guts out while Roger listened with the ears of love. The pain rose as wild waves of grief over the damage to my life, to the life of the planet and to the life of all of us and all my relations caused by patriarchy.
Patriarchy-that life-annihilating cult of deifying the masculine and excluding all else. That cult of power, possessions and punishment.
Now, as I write this, tears rise to my eyes. I feel this pain in my bones. I grieve for my beloved planet, on the brink of destruction. I grieve for my beloved polar bears, on the brink of extinction as the ice floes, upon which they depend, melt. I grieve for my sister, her physical and mental health so fragile as a result of a family riddled with alcohol, incest, and the abuses inherent in adjusting to a system so out of balance, and to a husband riddled with the physical and metal shrapnel of war.
I recently received an email with pictures of the latest shoe fashion in Japan-women literally on their toes, like ballet pointe shoes, but with stiletto heels. (click here to download a pdf containing these photos) The email also included pictures of an old woman and her bound feet. As she unrolled the cloth, you could see how her toes were made to curve under the souls of her feet so that she could barely even walk, hobbled as surely as those within prison walls. Her crime-being born female. (click here to download a pdf containing these photos)
The next day on the shuttle bus in Zion we passed the “Court of the Patriarchs”, three large mountains named for Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and I felt a twinge of fury. Even in Zion Mother Earth has been colonized by the cult of exclusive masculinity. HOW LONG WILL WE BIND WOMEN’S FEET? HOW LONG WILL WE BIND MEN’S SOULS? HOW LONG WILL WE BIND OUR OWN EYES TO WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR HOME? HOW LONG WILL THE LEARNED HELPLESSNESS OF OUR COLONIZED MINDS DICTATE OUR ACTIONS AND LACK THEREOF?
Fury. Then I cried with the pain. Roger held me as I grieved. Under the pain I touched the profound love I have for this Earth and all her creatures.
Later that morning I read in Circle of Stones, Woman’s Journey to Herself by Judith Duerk, a passage that illuminated this experience:
“To discover who she is, a woman must descend into her own depths. She must leave the safe role of remaining a faithful daughter of the collectives around her and descend to her individual feeling values. It will be her task to experience her pain…the pain of her own unique feeling values calling to her, pressing to emerge. To discover who she is, a woman must trust the places of darkness where she can meet her own deepest nature and give it voice…as she comes to a true and certain sense of herself.”
Ahhh, so that is what is happening. It is my work of this journey, I am coming to realize, to experience all that I feel, to experience all of me. I hope to emerge with greater integrity and greater clarity on how best to spend my precious life energy. It will be in the service of Life, in some form, as it has been in the past. I hope it will be with even greater effectiveness in this time of great need.
Zion cradled me as the storm raged. As the waves quieted (for now) Zion spoke to me through the elegant embrace of her red walls-“Give birth daughter; give birth to yourself yet again.”
******************************
July 16, 2008
The episodes of fury have been both disturbing and illuminating. Birth is always challenging. The depth passion I discovered beneath my fury–for wholeness, health, respect, and love for this planet and all its Life informs the answer to the question I’ve been nurturing for the past two months: “What next shall I do with my life?”
This part of our adventure is nearly over–we drive to civilization in a couple of days, visit with loved ones, assume daily responsibilities. I don’t yet have the picture of my new work in sharp focus, but colors and shapes are emerging as I contemplate the inner journey I’ve been on. How will I share the fruits of this birthing? How will I live my passion and share my gifts? How will I help manifest the Sacred Feminine and so help restore health and balance on Earth?
For those contemplating similar questions, I invite you to email me with your discoveries and questions. Only by joining together, women and men, each doing our own work, will we be able to give this world what it so needs at this time. As Alice Walker reminds us: “Anything we love can be saved.”
In celebration of the love that flows through us all,
Veronica
We are in Crater Lake National Park for the next few days.
Click here to view photos of Monterey Bay Aquarium
(I sort of forgot to post these when I actually took them)
Click here to view the first installment of Crater Lake Photos
(more to come in the next few days)
We are relational creatures. Down to the very core of our being we are made to be in relationship - with ourselves, with each other, with the world around us, with the sacred presence of the Divine. When we open ourselves to such connections our lives are enriched because we are more fully ourselves. When we ignore, deny and sometimes even actively reject such connections our lives are diminished because we cut ourselves off from an essential aspect of our humanity. The good news is that opportunities for connection are all around us in every moment of our living. The bad news is that we don’t always notice them or open ourselves to the richness of such gifts. And the good news after the bad news is that we do not have to remain stuck in old, unhelpful patterns of living. We can choose to live differently. We can choose to pay attention. We can choose to allow more fullness into our lives.
On our journey this summer there have been a variety of opportunities to connect. Some of them were fleeting - like the moment on the labyrinth in Grace Cathedral when I passed a woman who was going the other way and she folded her hands in front of her and bowed in a gesture of acknowledgement and blessing. The whole encounter only lasted a second or two. And yet, because I was paying attention, the effects continue to reverberate through my life. Some connections were unexpected and delightful. While Veronica was in Florida I was camped by myself in the redwoods south of San Francisco. One evening while I was doing the dishes after dinner one of the women who were camped next to me stopped by to invite me over for a piece of cherry pie. Anne and Reba were their names and they just had to meet the person from Idaho with the “Celebrate Diversity” sticker on his van. It was a wonderful evening as we discovered common ground - they are members of a Unitarian church, and one of them had grown up in a Disciples congregation. It wasn’t the evening I had planned, and because I was paying attention my life was enriched. Some connections have been an outgrowth of long-standing relationships. We spent three days with Oz and Ginny Garton at their cabin in northern California. They have been friends for years and that paved the way for this opportunity. And, because we were paying attention, we experienced wonderful hospitality, laughter, warmth, acceptance and a deeper level of connection.
New friends - old friends - chance encounters - they all present us with the opportunity to feed our souls. But we have to pay attention or we might miss it.
Blessings,
Roger
Today we spent about 1/2 hour at Pescadero Beach (about 15 miles south of Half Moon Bay in California). The light wasn’t great so most of the photos didn’t turn out well, but one might be the best shot I’ve taken in a really long time.
Took a trip in to San Francisco - here is some of what I saw…